Bloom's Guide on How To ChaseTortureAnnoy Your Fav
by Bloom Flower
Summary: Ever wanted to chase your favorite character or just wants to torture them? Well this is it. The guide to do so.
1. Seto Kaiba

A/N: Hello! I'm back with another story! This may be highly confusing to a lot of people since sometimes you can't separate the actions from the speeches. This is in MY POV so I'm the one doing mostly all the talking and stuff. So enjoy and RR please!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh.

Bloom's Guide on How to Chase/Torture/Annoy Your Favorite Characters

Chapter One: Seto Kaiba

A small lit room appeared out of the darkness. "Is everything ready?" I asked. Nothing, nobody answered. "Hello?" I yelled again. Still nothing, nobody answered back. "YOU ANSWER ME AND YOU ANSWER ME NOW!"

"We're on!" someone randomly shouted.

"Hi, Bloom here. Ever wanted to chase your favorite character with a giant mallet but just couldn't get enough? Or maybe with too many fan people around? Or that you just want to torture them but get caught every time?

"Well, this is it. Your guide on how to do so. First up, this is difficult since there are many types of fan girls out there. Normal, hyperactive, and the crazy kind. Well this is for the obsessed kind…….Which is like what? All you people? Just kidding, let's get started! First up in this guide if Seto Kaiba!

"Why the fan girls chase the CEO… Well, this is dumb…..Just look at the guy. He's cold, he's heartless, his haircut cost more than Joey's house. Yeah, I can see why now. To chase the CEO, well, the guy's like a walking, talking back for crying out loud! He got people everywhere protecting him. But there is still a way to lure him out of his company. Earlier I tried a different way and it didn't work out very well…"

Flashback-

I stand outside Kaiba Corp looking for rocks to throw at the CEO. "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, KAIBA! I KNOW YOU'LL COME OUT! YOU'LL HAVE TO INSULT PEOPLE SOONER OR LATER! YOU KNOW YOU CAHN'T PASSES A DAY WITHOUT INSULTING SOMEBODY!"

Then a voice cracks up. "Hey who's throwing rocks out here!"

"Uh oh" And I ran away.

End Flashback-

I snap back to reality. "Oh, so don't try that, it gets your voice very hoarse. If you want to chase him, you might want to try some of these suggested ways below and oh, if you have a torture/annoying device, please hide it, it scares him. Actually it scares everyone. But don't worry, you don't need to lure him out, he knows he can't pass the day without insulting someone at least one in every five seconds.

Suggested Ways to Chase the Guy Who's Made Out of Money

"One: Chase with a giant mallet, hammer, flamethrower, or any device of your choice. Why we want to smash our favorite characters? I have no idea, but its fun, try it sometimes!

"Two: Sometimes chasing Kaiba can be VERY hard and tiring since the guy has some long legs! No offence but he look like a ostrich without wings and a beak. You can make him come to you instead of the way around. How? Simple, you just need a mirror. Shine it in his face and he'll chase YOU just to look at his reflection a bit longer. One time, I think he sang to his reflection…..O.o

"Three: Reveal one of his deepest secrets so he'll come to cover up your mouth. What secrets? Well, try this…..

"KAIBA, I KNOW YOU SLEEP WITH PINK, FLUFFY BUNNIES AND TEDDY BEARS!" or "I KNOW YOU SING KAROKE AND THAT YOU SING IN YOUR SLEEP! I KNOW, I RECORDED IT!"

"You know you didn't really record it but hey, it works. Now on to the next one on how to annoy him!

Suggested Ways to Torture Seto Kaiba Who Looks in the Mirror More Than Yugi

"One: Pretend to insult Yugi or somebody when he's looking so he'll think you stole his insulting job.

"Two: Have Bakura send his collection of Blue Eyes White Dragons dolls to the shadow realm one by one while he's watching, helplessly that is.

"Three: Have Ryou sing the alphabet to him while he's being tied up so he'll have to listen helplessly.

"Four: Replace all his so call action figures, we all know they're really dolls, with Barney stuff. Then lure him in and lock the door. Do it, it burns his eyes.

"Five: Take his beloved hair styling kit and pour out their contents into another container, then fill up the bottles with water. Then, you pour out the water from the bottles one by one out the window with him watching and crying at the same time. Little does he know that the water from the bottles isn't really the real stuff… Oh well.

"Six: Mess up his hair. WARNING: RESULTS OF SUCH ACTIONS MAY INCLUDE THE CEO KICKING AND SCREAMING TRYING TO DEFEND HIS HAIR, SO I HIGHLY SUGGEST TO NOT ATTEMPT NUMBER SIX.

"Oh and while you fan girls are doing this, be sure to take A LOT of pictures, they could sell for millions! Oh and doing number six may results in a lot of bruises and stuff. Kaiba will go beyond his limits to protect his hair so please watch out, you have been warned. And this is my motto to all those favorite characters out there and I speak for us all.

**We chase/torture/annoy you because we care!**

"It's true, you know…… Okay, this is Bloom Flower, signing out. So please come back and we'll discuss another favorite character. How to chase/torture/ and annoy them. Bye bye now!"

End of Chapter One

A/N: Weird, strange, highly confusing, yeah I know. Please RR and tell me if you can comprehend this. No flames, if you don't like it in any way possible, then don't review.

RR.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh and Barney. Thank you.


	2. Joey Wheeler

A/N: Konnichiwa! So sorry for taking such a long time! Please RR. Arigato!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh. Thank you.

Chapter Two: Joey Wheeler

"Hello! Bloom's back-"

Suddenly the microphone hanging over my head dropped and almost hit my head. "Hey!"

"Sorry!" someone called out.

I turned back to the screen. "Sorry about that, everyone. As I was saying, I'm back! Ever wanted to chase your favorite character but couldn't get close enough? Or blah blah blah blah. I'm tired of saying this. All this is in the first chapter already. Let's just skip to the chase. This is the guide on how to chase/torture/ and annoy...Joey Wheeler! Yay!"

No one clapped...

"Okay... Anyway, why do we want to chase/torture/ and annoy Joey Wheeler? Well, let's see! He's a great duelist, came in second for duelist tournament, and loves pink bunnies!"

Suddenly, Joey's voice yelled out, "NO! My pink bunnies! I mean... What pink bunnies?"

o.O

"That was so unexpected," I said. "Well, let's move on! Below are the ways suggested for best results!"

Suggested Ways to Chase Joey Wheeler, the Guy Who Loves Pink Bunnies

"One: Chase the guy with...well... Chase him with a flamethrower. He doesn't like anyone near his hair.

"Two: Steal one or all of his cards and he'll come after you instead!

"Three: Step three, the last but also the easiest step yet to chase him... Just get him some food. (You must have seen this one coming a mile away... If you didn't... Then you've scared the authoress.)

Suggested Ways to Torture Joey Wheeler, the Guy That Do Not Have a Brain Sometimes

"One: Well since Joey hate Kaiba's guts and that he cares a lot for his sister... Just put Serenity in a five miles radius of Kaiba. Or in front of Kaiba. One time, he got so mad, it look like steam was coming out of his ears! But remember! Step one may be dangerous to attempt! Warning!

-Flashback of Step One-

Joey was walking when he saw Serenity talking to Kaiba. "AH! Oh my gosh! Serenity, no!"

He ran over as fast as he can and tackled his sister to the ground. "Sis! Can you hear me? Sis! Serenity! NO, I lost her! No!"

Serenity opened her eyes and stared at her brother. "Joey! What are you doing! I'm fine before you tackled me to the ground!"

Then Joey jumped to his feet and waved a finger at Kaiba. "You! You, you..." He couldn't find his words.

"Whatever, loser," said Kaiba as he coolly walked away.

"I was just asking if he have seen you! But now, I guess I don't have to wait for his answer..." said Serenity.

"Serenity, you're alive! I'm so happy! You stay away from that jerk, you hear me! Did he touch you? He might get his cooties on you! We have to get you home and break into my emergency kit!" screamed the duelist.

"You mean, the "In Case Kaiba Ever Touched Anyone" kit?" asked Serenity.

"Exactly!"

"Joey! You're letting this get to your head! Everything's fine!" said Serenity.

"Oh my gosh! The cooties are acting fast! No! Serenity, come back to me!" screamed Joey. "Stay here; I'll go get Yugi and the others. They're right in the next store!"

By now, a small group of people shopping had stopped and stared at the pair of siblings. There were also murmurs running along the crowd.

Serenity looked at them. "Uh, I never met him before in my life."

Then slowly the crowd moved on.

Serenity signed and looked at her brother who was still screaming his head off for his friends. She then whispered to herself, "Great, now I have change my name and appearance again... No, not this time. Not again."

-End of Flashback-

"Step Two: Eat something in front of his face while he's tied down helplessly. He cries sometimes if he's extra hungry.

"Step Three: Talk about Kaiba and make sure he's in the hearing range.

"Step Four: Imitate Kaiba and dress like Kaiba to kill Joey even more.

"Step Five: Use all of his hair gel and show him the empty bottle. Well, good luck even trying to dump it out, his gel bottle is like ten gallons or something!"

"Step six: Take his pink teddy bear and dye it all the colors of the rainbow except pink. Like duh.

"Step seven: Mess up his hair. WARNING! AGAIN, RESULTS OF SUCH ACTIONS MAY INCLUDE HIM KICKING AND SCREAMING AND GOING ALL KUNG FU ON YA. SO IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DO IT, GO NUTS. BUT IF NOT, STAY AWAY FROM ATTEMPING STEP SEVEN. I REPEAT, DO NOT ATTEMPT STEP SEVEN EXCEPT IF YOU THINK YOUR LIFE IS ALREADY WASTED."

I took a breath and kept on going. "You know how it is. A lot of anime characters love their hair and they are VERY sensitive about their hair. You should have seen their bathrooms! It's full of hair products and tons of gel bottles! And remember, ALWAYS, I repeat, ALWAYS take pictures and record everything while you fan girls are doing this! My motto!

**We chase/torture/annoy you because we care!**

"It's true, you know. Anyways, this is Bloom Flower, signing out! Hope to see you next time! Good bye now!"

End of chapter two

A/N: Ya like? I don't think it's as funny as the first chapter but I'm working on it. Please RR. It tells me you're still there. Arigato! Sayonara!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh. Thank you.


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